The Disease Diet December 22, 2005Posted by Matsu in Humor.
Want to lose weight? Get sick! Yes, I am sick right now, so I know what I’m talking about. You might say, I am presently on the Disease Diet.
Before I say anything else, let me say this post is meant to be humorous. Please do not try this diet nor post complaints about making fun of illness. Illness is serious, this post is not meant to be.
In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s I got sick over the Christmas holiday several years in a row. Each time, I lost weight as a result of my illness and hospitalization. Afterwards, I reflected on the fact that each time I was seriously ill I had the side benefit of shedding some unwanted pounds. Ever since then, I have been toying with an idea for a book that would really be funny and probably end up on some bestseller list.
Whenever I get around to writing it, the book will be called, The Disease Diet. It will essentially be a catalog of various diseases with the approximate amount of time it might take to heal, the side effects of the disease, and an estimate of how much weight one might lose. To help the reader get started, I will include a packet of sample diseases in the back in the form of pills (all placebos, of course).
After telling friends and family about my book idea over the years, I’ve thought of two additional books in the same spirit. So, I’ve got a trilogy of diet books that I could write if the first book really takes off. I’ll talk about the second and third book in this series in a later post.
I am presently experiencing a round of pneumonia. I’ve missed several days of work and the doctor has suggested that it may be a week before the antibiotics have completed their task and I am fully recovered. In that time, I could expect to lose 3 or 4 pounds.
Hey, I’ve got my first entry for my new book. Anyone want to buy a copy?